Saturday, April 2, 2011

Reality Totality

I don't watch much reality TV.  Or at least I would never admit it.  

Some day scholars will credit Jerry Springer and Geraldo for springing an entire collection of unhinged, vapid, narcissistic "stars," some of whom appear on other reality shows merely because of their reality star status.  What a country!

I suppose some shows are more redeeming than others, in the same way you might compare Chaucer to a rap star. 

And like Springer and Geraldo, you can produce an entire season of reality for $5.95, a TV execs dream. 

Full disclosure:  My wife is an actress.  A real one.  Studied theater and everything.  So there have been a few (thus far unspoken) moments when we realize that clowns like "The Situation" and Paris Hilton are taking work from classically trained professionals.  Professionals who use silverware and can spell words like adverb.  Even use them.

I have a few reality show ideas, and would love to know what you think. 

Hormonal Island: Contestants are stranded with three "tweens"  in the throes of puberty.  Nuff said.

Heavy Celebrity Hoarder Intervention: This spin-off of A&E shows features D list celebrities with the tag line "Because any attention is good, right?"  A "very special episode" features Kirstie Alley. 

Survivor Interstate:  Contestant couples are paired with random unrelated children and sent on a cross country car ride.  Challenges include an 8 hour stretch with only a cheese stick and Teletubbie marathon.  Points lost for bathroom stops. 

Gamer Wives: An in depth look at attractive, well educated women and their overgrown children, filmed entirely from the basement.  Special poker edition debuts in the fall.

Deadliest Political Catch - Ten members of Congress (3 Red, 3 Blue, 2 Tea, 2 Decaf) set out on Alaska's  Bering Sea in search of Opilio crab.  The winning team has majority rule until the 2012 elections. 

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